What could be more affirming to your confidence than gazing into the deep navy blue eyes of your newborn, knowing that everything he needs comes from you – security in your arms as he drinks in your smell, your loving gaze and your milk?

Conversely, your confidence can be so easily undermined as well-meaning voices suggest, “Are you sure you have enough milk?” or “perhaps your milk isn’t strong enough,” any time your baby so much as whimpers (by the way, this second comment is never true, even though it was commonly expressed when your own mother was a new mum).

A new mother’s vulnerability runs deep: no mother can bear to question her ability to nourish her baby or even worse, to feel that she could be starving her child. Feeding your child is the most basic instinct.

As a mother’s confidence is eroded by unhelpful comments and self doubt, her breastfeeding experience can also be affected: as you become stressed about your milk supply, this tension can affect hormones that elicit milk flow and, if you begin to offer your baby bottles of milk as well as breastfeeds, it isn’t long before your body gets the message that it doesn’t need to make as much milk. Then, sadly, your baby could be weaned before you are ready to let go of this special relationship.

Making Milk

Breast milk production works on a supply and demand basis: Your baby’s sucking at your breast stimulates milk production which means that the more your baby drinks, the more milk your breasts will make and according to research by Dr Peter Hartmann and associates at the University of Western Australia, an ‘empty’ breast will make milk more quickly, while a full breast will make milk more slowly.

This means that milk production will speed up or slow down according to how hungry your baby is and how much milk is removed from your breasts. This is particularly important to remember when your baby has a growth spurt and wants to feed more often for a few days to keep up with his needs. Although it is fairly common for babies to have growth spurts and corresponding appetite increases at 2 weeks, 6 weeks and 3 months, these can happen at any time.

How Often Should You Feed Your Baby?

After birth your baby’s stomach is only the size of a marble and about 10 days later is only the size of his tiny fist (or a golf ball). Also, breast-milk is very quickly and easily digested so your baby will need frequent feeds, at least in the early weeks. It is perfectly normal for a breastfed baby to need 8 to 12 feeds in 24 hours in the first few weeks. This could mean that he will feed as often as every two hours or less – and that means two hours from the beginning of one feed, to the beginning of the next – not two hours between feeds.

 Hungry, thirsty or coming down with a bug?

 Whether your baby wants to feed because he is hungry or thirsty or whether he needs a boost of antibodies against an illness he has been exposed to, he will be able to regulate the type of milk he needs, if you allow him to set the pace.

The composition of breast milk changes throughout the course of a feeding. As the feeding progresses, the fat content of your milk increases so the first (fore) milk, which is lower in fat, will quench babies’ thirst: this is why they often have very short, frequent feeds on hot days –feeding your baby according to his cues will make sure he stays well hydrated (if he is under 6 months it’s unsafe to give water – see why here).

Hunger will be satisfied by longer sucking periods when baby gets the fattier, hind milk (like a rich, creamy desert) that is squeezed down into your ducts by the ‘let down’ reflex.

This is why it’s best to allow your baby to ‘finish’ the first breast first, rather than timing feeds and restricting your baby to an arbitrary number of minutes on each side. If she is satisfied with only one side, you may need to express a little for comfort off the fuller breast. One suggestion is to feed baby on one side until she chooses to drop off your breast, then burp her and/or have a little play and a nappy change, then give her the other side before you put her back to bed (some people label this as ‘feed play feed sleep’). This way your baby may sleep longer before waking for another feed because she has gone down with a nice full tummy.

Your baby may also step up feeds if he has been exposed to a bug. The transfer of his saliva to your breasts will signal your body to make antibodies and immune factors specific to the bacteria or viruses your baby needs to fight. So feeding more frequently if he is feeling unwell will increase the dose of support your baby needs to recover from illness.

Watch Your Baby, Not The Clock

If you learn to identify your baby’s hunger signals ( ‘rooting’ at the breast, smacking his lips, sucking on fingers) and allow your baby access to the breast when you see these early signals, you will be able to avert hunger cries (crying is a late hunger signal for most babies) and you can be reassured that she will drink exactly the amount of milk that she needs.

Above all, rather than worrying about how much milk your baby is getting or why she needs to feed more frequently some days, try to relax and enjoy each feed as a time of loving interaction between you and your baby.

By watching, listening and getting to know your baby’s nonverbal cues that say, I am hungry, tired, I want to play or please give me some quiet space, you will realise that you are the expert about your baby and you will be able to turn a deaf ear to negative voices – and your confidence will soar.

You have got this, Mama!

Pinky McKay is an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and best selling baby care author. She’s also the creator of Boobie Bikkies,  natural, organic and lactogenic cookies for breastfeeding mums to boost your energy and support a healthy milk supply.

Please click here to download our FREE ebook “Making More Mummy Milk, Naturally.”

The post Breastfeeding – it’s a confidence game (and you have got this, Mama) appeared first on Pinky McKay's Beautiful Breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is the natural way to feed your baby, but it often doesn’t come naturally at first. It’s helpful to understand that just like learning a new dance, you and your tiny partner can take a little while to get ‘in step’ together. As you learn how to hold your baby comfortably, your little one has to coordinate sucking, swallowing and breathing – but with practice and patience (and perhaps a little help from a professional, such as a lactation consultant), breastfeeding really does become easy and natural.

Here are 10 common boobie traps and tips to beat them.

1. My baby won’t latch

Being born is hard work, and many babies take a while to feed effectively. Offering skin-to-skin cuddles will help. To do this, strip your baby down to his nappy and hold him against your bare chest. As soon as you notice early hunger signs (sucking movements, putting his hand to his mouth or ‘rooting’), offer the breast quickly. Supporting him, pull him in close as he turns in and opens his mouth (be sure to never push your baby’s head). You may need to feed some breast milk from a syringe if he takes time to begin feeding, and expressing will help kick-start your milk supply. Check out these videos about natural breastfeeding.

Try to avoid bottles during this early learning period, as this will imprint a different sucking action from breastfeeding.

2. Ouch, that hurts!

Some nipple tenderness is normal in the early days – it’s a little like breaking in a new pair of shoes – but it isn’t supposed to really hurt. If your nipples really hurt or look squashed when they come out of your baby’s mouth, she may not be latching on correctly. Her mouth should be open wide as she latches on, with her chin pressed into your breast and her head tipped back so her nose is away from the breast. If breastfeeding still hurts, get an expert to watch you feed and check what may be happening. Also ask your carer to check for tongue tie. 

3. He’s too sleepy to feed

A mouthful of milk will get your dozy baby sucking again. To do this, squeeze your breast (high up, well above the nipple and areola) between your thumb and 4 fingers; this will start the milk flow that will get your baby swallowing again.

You can also try rubbing his hand: there’s a reflex that connects the mouth and hand, and you will notice your baby opening and clenching his hand as he sucks. Rubbing his hand may stimulate this reflex. You can also try gently stroking under his chin to encourage sucking.

4. Help – my boobs are bursting!

Most women experience a few days of ‘engorgement’ – hot, tight and tender breasts – as their milk ‘comes in’. This is caused by increased blood circulation in the breast area, and happens especially with first babies. Because your breasts swell up, they can be difficult for your baby to latch onto, so it helps to soften the area around the nipple by expressing a little milk before feeding. You can also gently press the swollen area back with your fingers before attaching your baby. Engorgement can be relieved by warm showers or applying a warm face washer before feeds to help milk flow, and applying a cool pack after feeds (try pouring water on a disposable nappy, freeze it, then wrap it around your swollen boobs – aahhh!).

5. My baby wants to feed ALL the time

Your baby sucking at your breast stimulates milk production: the more your baby sucks, the more milk your breasts will make. Newborns’ tiny tummies are only the size of a marble and at first they don’t stretch. Breast-milk is very quickly digested, so it’s perfectly normal for a breastfed baby to need feeding at least every two hours at first (or even more often) – this means two hours from the beginning of one feed until the next. As your baby’s stomach capacity increases and he becomes a more efficient feeder, feeds will be much quicker and naturally spaced further apart. Because there is ongoing breast development in the first few weeks after birth, by allowing your baby to feed frequently in the early days you are maximising this and setting your milk supply point higher than if you start implementing a feeding routine or pushing your baby to space out feeds.

6. My milk flow is so fast, it’s choking my baby

If your baby looks as though she’s struggling to drink from a fire hose, you can take her off the breast, then put her back on when the flow slows. You can also try leaning back and holding your baby in a more upright position as she feeds. As she grows, she’ll manage a fast flow more easily. Check out this lovely video of laid back breastfeeding.

7. There’s a red sore patch on my breast

This could be a blocked milk duct, or the early stages of mastitis (which often happens when a blocked duct isn’t cleared). Any time your breasts feel hot and/or lumpy, the best treatment is warmth, rest and emptying the breast. You can help your breasts drain more effectively by: deep breathing and relaxing as you breastfeed to encourage a letdown (count 4 as you breathe in, hold your breathe for 4 then count 4 as you breathe out); remove or loosen your bra; change feeding positions to allow milk to flow ‘down hill’ to your baby – try lying on your side with baby below the affected breast or try ‘dangle feeding’ on all fours as you kneel above your baby with your breasts dangling . Apply a warm pack before feeds and massage gently towards the nipple – often massaging gently behind the lumpy area will help to move the blockage. If your baby isn’t emptying your breast or won’t feed, hand express under a warm shower.

If the redness hasn’t gone in 24 hours or you feel ‘fluey’ at any time you are breastfeeding, see your doctor – you could have developed mastitis and you may need antibiotics.

8. Am I losing my milk?

It’s common for mums to worry they’re ‘losing their milk’ whenever their baby is unsettled. At about six to 10 weeks, your breasts tend to settle down and feel ‘soft’, which is when mothers often worry they’re ‘losing their milk’. But this just usually means that your milk supply and your baby’s appetite are completely synchronised – you’re making exactly the amount of milk your baby needs!

9. How do I know I have enough milk?

Remember that what comes out must have gone in. If your baby is having plenty of wet and pooey nappies, and is gaining weight, there’s nothing to worry about.

If your supply does need a boost, rest and feed more frequently for a couple of days, offer lots of skin-to-skin cuddles (this will boost your breastfeeding hormones), drink plenty of fluids and eat healthy foods. You can also download our FREE ebook “Making More Mummy Milk,Naturally”

10. My baby is biting

Most babies try their brand new teeth at some time – often their gums are sore and it relieves them to clamp down – but it doesn’t mean you need to wean. Instead of pulling your baby away, try pushing him closer onto the breast so his nose is blocked and he will unlatch. You can also offer cool things for him to chew to help relieve his gums, and try not to react with a yelp when he does bite – this can frighten him, or even encourage him to bite just to see your reaction.

Pinky McKay is an IBCLC Lactation consultant and best –selling baby care author of Sleeping Like a Baby and Parenting by Heart. She’s also the creator of Boobie Bikkies, all natural and organic cookies to support a healthy breast milk supply. 

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